Dr Sketchy TONIGHT!

Photography by Nick von Fiction

Just a reminder that tonight is Dr Sketchy Brisbane with yours truly modelling in some weird and wonderful get ups and doing a very special performance for you.

Entry is FREE!

Glass Bar @Judith Wright Centre, Fortitude Valley

Bring your pencils and sketch books and prepare for a magical evening.

x Bella

Costume Care

I will make it fit! Applies to shoes on sale at 50% off

and squeezing all your stuff into one bag for a gig.

There is always one part of a gig that I absolutely dread. Unpacking after the show.

When I've worked my tushie off dancing up a storm, usually my bags are left inside the front door when I finally get home and faceplant my bed, and that's often where they'll stay for at least a day.

But I'm not foolish when it comes to costume care. It's easy to make expensive mistakes if you're not careful so I thought I'd give you the inside tips on what I do to ensure my costumes and props are in good condition time and time again. The same goes for party costumes, you don't have to be a performer to care for your clothes properly and if you have no intention of

using the costume again you could sell it on ebay if you keep it in good nick.

Consider Halloween, plenty of performers would have been heavily into the fake blood. I know I was! If you use it, make sure you have a few plastic bags handy in your case to wrap up any messy items to take home. There's no need to get that stuff all over the rest of the things in your case.

No matter how tired you are when you get home, if you have costumes with fake blood on them (or real blood for that matter) take them out of the case and at very least rinse out the residue in the sink and give it a spray with stain remover. You can deal with the rest in the morning.

In the morning, fill the sink with hot water and Di-San, or Napi-San and let the things soak for a few hours and hey presto! It should be spotless. Keep in mind that some fake blood stains bodies and clothes worse than others, particularly cheaper ones, so don't be slack or you may never get the marks out.

Take every costume out of your case and check it over for tears, marks or missing pieces. It's much easier to call a venue the next day about that missing bra than just before your next gig. Same goes for repairs and cleaning.

I know plenty of performers who don't get around to washing their costumes very often, if at all because they don't wear them very often. Consider however any time spent rehearsing in them and in summer performing in steamy, overcrowded venues your perspiration can degrade costumes. At very least check them over for marks. I once found a whole shoe print on one of my very precious gowns where I had performed amongst the crowd. Glad I found that before the next show!

I hand wash (never, EVER, machine wash) my costumes whenever I feel they need it. Be prepared for a tidal wave of glitter in your bath or laundry tub.

Finally make any repairs such as sewing buttons, beads & sequins back on, dealing with frayed edges or tears before storing them away.

Until you're rich and famous and can pay a minion to do your mending for you, make sure you always have a spare needle and thread to match the colour of your costumes handy!

Important: Check zippers, clasps, velcro, ribbons or whatever you are using to unfasten your clothes. A broken zipper can cause hell if it means the dress won't come off mid-act!

Also brush any wigs and store, and collect all the hairpins you've left in a trail from the front door to your bed and store them away for next time. Seriously, you will be glad you collected those bobby pins next time a show rolls around.

Everyone has their own method of storage but it will make it easier on you to keep your costume wardrobe organised in some way. I have a double rail on wheels. Dresses on the top rail in dress bags, all the other bits and pieces for each act in bags on the lower rail, shoes & small props on the tray at the bottom. El cheapo rails will probably not handle the weight of lots of heavy costumes so best not to be stingy. Something solid that doesn't use lightweight plastic connectors to hold the bars together. Trust me, I have learnt the hard way.

Gloves should be hand washed more regularly particularly if you pull the fingers with your teeth and stored together, as should pairs of stockings which should be checked for runs before packing away. You have no idea how many black stockings I have that don't match. Laddered stockings can be used to store gloves, stockings and other delicate bits of costume.

I think that just about covers it!

Until next time...x

In my beauty case...

Photography by Tor b551.com

So I seem to be asked more and more about my skincare regime and personal taste in fashion. I've avoided writing about it because it seems a little self-indulgent of me (not being any expert on make-up) but as there seems to be a bit of interest in the subject I figure what the heck! This little post is about the make-up and skincare I use.

How do I keep my skin looking great? I don't. I wear lots of make-up on stage which is why it looks porcelain in the pictures but in real life it is an ongoing battle to keep my skin in good condition. Make-up, late nights, a few too many champers and my skin gets positively grumpy with me. I also have extremely fair skin and so am very prone to freckles at the first peep of sunlight through the clouds. In addition to this, the illusion I was under that in passing my teenage years that I would be magically endowed with clear skin has fallen rather short of the mark.

So it's simple for me, 30+ sunscreen, even in winter. Make-up wipes by the bed for those nights I cannot summon the energy to wash my face, or in my make-up case for the trip home from a gig along with a little travel pot of moisturiser. All over body moisturiser, I am religious about this after a shower because the water in the three places I am most, England, Germany and Australia, is very hard and dries skin quickly. My friend Bea Devile has also instructed me to body brush or use exfoliating gloves for lovely legs but I'm terrible at remembering this.

My other indulgence is the 'Brazened Honey' face mask from Lush. It works like magic when my skin looks really tired and I just need to perk it up before a show or the day after a show when I want to go out again and not look like I dragged my glittered behind into bed at 6am that same morning.

As far as make-up goes I seem to stick to my staples. One of my lifesavers in hiding tired under eyes is a concealer called Touche Magique by L'Oreal. I'm pretty sure any illuminating concealer would do though. A decent red lipliner, I have stupidly sharpened mine to the point where I can no longer see what brand or shade it is so I'll have to do some investigating! I often use just lipliner all over instead of lipstick for a show as it will not budge, but of course a decent red lipstick for after a show is a must.

Also, loose face powder, not compact. Trust me.

Black liquid eyeliner and false eyelashes. They are a bugger to learn how to use properly but once you do, what a difference it makes. I still curse and swear when I'm putting on eyelashes as do most of my friends but it's worth it in the end! I once blogged about another burlesque lass, Khandie Kisses I believe who told me once that she had so many false eyelashes she thought they might form one giant eyelash and crawl around her apartment. I'm proud and terrified to say that I am at that stage of monster movie eyelash take-over.

As to how to put them on properly, it's all just practise I'm sorry to say. One day I promise you'll get to the stage where you can put them on while on a moving train. You'll still curse and swear though.

Finally, the perfect nail polish. I go pink for 60s and red for everything else. My particular red being a bottle of Chanel 159 Fire Red which as I hold it up to the light now, I see is over halfway used. Tragedy!

Hair, well when it comes to hair I am lazy. I'd rather have someone else do it but I feel it is necessary as part of my sartorial education and I try, although I do make more shortcuts than I'd like to admit. I'm in love with my Vintage Hairstyling book by Lauren Rennels. If you'd like to learn how to do your own vintage hair and make-up there are also a few fabulous classes available.

In Brisbane see the facebook page for the Bombshells Academy http://tiny.cc/330z7 to join classes and learn everything you need to know on vintage hair and make-up.

So that concludes my ramblings for another night. I'll try to do a blog on clothes at some point if I can focus for long enough!

x Bella

Upcoming Shows!

Shoot, I keep forgetting that my website is throwing a tanty at the moment and won't update anything, including all my upcoming shows!

So...for the students, the cheap, and those who just want to have a fun and chilled Sunday evening of entertainment, pop on down to Barsoma tomorrow night for a special 10:10:10 edition of Qsesh. It's free, there's $5 pizza and there's some awesome music and even more awesome (yeah I said it) burlesque. 22 Constance Street, Fortitude Valley Brisbane.

Then on the 30th October your Halloween plans are all set because the Monsters Ball is coming to town! There will be 3 stages, 6 rooms, 2 floors, Bands, Burlesque, Freakshow, Magic, Comedy, Markets, Voodoo Lounge, DJs, and Prize for the best costume! It is from 8pm till 5am at The Step Inn, 186 Brunswick St, Fortitude Valley. $15 presold or on the door before 9pm, $20 after. Get tickets here...http://tiny.cc/q0smk

There are a few others but will pop them up on here as soon as I have the finalised details but that's at least two weekends of fab entertainment to keep you busy planning your calenders in the meantime!

The sexy plie, the piston, and the pin-up...

For some reason every time I wake up the day after a show I'm always aching all over. I think the rush of performance blocks out any pain receptors and I'll push myself much harder on stage, resulting in my waking up with muscle aches. But it's a satisfied sort of pain and after a hot shower all that was on my mind was food (surprise, surprise).

Not much is open in Hobart on a Sunday in the city centre as Torsten and I found when we went exploring for food. We found one of those diner style places that looked like it never closes where they do a reasonable breakfast. Nothing mind blowing but we were hungry and I didn't have much time before I had to get back and put my stuff together for the afternoons dance classes and tutorials. Next time I'll head straight for North Hobart as I was reliably informed by the girls that that's the best place on a Sunday for food.

I was teaching a basics class at Tasmania's Pole Dancing and Burlesque Academy and was amazed how quickly the ladies of Hobart picked up the choreography. It was a very sexy tease to a bit of Screamin' Jay Hawkins and they were totally rocking out to it with their boa's and gloves.

Both Grace Cherry and Lucy Sky Diamond had one to one tutorials with me and I tell you what, I can't wait to see more from these ladies. Asides from being just the nicest girls you'll ever meet, they are extremely talented. I'll be watching with some interest at where their performances go.

So with a full afternoon and evening of classes finished can you imagine what mind was on? Before I left I got Grace & Sarah's recommendations on where the best fish & chips were and so that's how Torsten and I came to find Fish Frenzy down at the harbour. It was absolutely freezing cold in the loveliest way when we hopped out of the cab and bundled into the very laid back fish & chips restaurant. Glass of rough red, great chips, prawn cutlets, calamari & fish. One fish we liked, the other not so much but unfortunately I can't remember the names of them!

This was followed by an icy walk around the harbour to walk off our very full belly's. Having walked past the Art Hotel I made a mental note to stop in there next time. Their dessert menu looked wonderful.

Then all the way back around to Salamanca which at night time in the cold with the fairy lights in the trees reminded me so much of Berlin at Christmas. Followed by caramelized fig, green apple, lemon and peanut butter fudge gelato (2 flavours each - I would recommend the peanut butter fudge) at Cargo and I was feeling a strange sense of contentment as I trundled off to bed for another night's beauty sleep.

Hollywood (finally) Revealed

Bella with Lucy Sky Diamond in background.

Photography by Tor b551.com

Show time!

So we bundled into Tigerlily's car for the trip to Franklin. Thankfully Grace Cherry had taken my costumes and props the night before so I only had a pile of make-up and hair bits and bobs to cram in the boot.

This trip was to be our only opportunity to see some of the Tasmanian countryside and the trip to Franklin was absolutely beautiful. When we arrived at the Palais Theatre there was a mist rolling in from the hills our enormous dressing room overlooked the River. One other highlight was finding out that Chicken Feed is the place to get glue on crystals and Lady GaGa Cds. Thanks girls!

The usual preparations ensued, hair dramas, eyelash fixing, make up applying, etc, etc. Meeting all the other performers was wonderful and it was a real variety show. We had a magician, Bob Buchanan for an MC, Lucy Sky Diamond on aerials, Sarah Muir on pole, tango dancers, cabaret performer, all the girls of Miss Kitty's Meow including Tigerlily and Grace Cherry plus Scarlett Jezabel and the bestest stage manager this side of the equator!

Considering the stage was slightly raked I was concerned as when I did a sound check and run through earlier in the night it was tilted enough to put me off balance. That and my dress fell off. Which I appreciate is the point of the act but only when I've carefully timed it. So I was a little nervous going out for my first act. I needn't of worried. The show went perfectly. And I mean perfectly, which never happens! Usually you come off stage thinking, 'I could have done that move better,' or something of the sort but I was so happy with both acts and was on a complete high when I dashed into the wings to put my dressing gown on (a very pretty one mind you!) for final bows.

I was also lucky enough to be waiting in the wings for my final act when I was able to watch Scarlett and Grace do their duet fan dance. Fan-bloody-tastic. I know, groan, pardon the pun, but it was. The colour, the grace, the cheekiness. I just loved it.

Other highlights for me were Tigerlily's bubble act which was absolutely adorable with an excellent use of props and Lucy Sky Diamond with her trapeze act. She has inspired me to finally commit to creating a trapeze performance of my own, what a girl!

Torsten of course was snapping away which is where the shot above is from, preparing for the first act. I've also popped a couple of pics up on my facebook fan page and others are visible at his blog including a few lovely architectural shots of the theatre.

So feeling somewhat elated we all bundled back into Tigerlily's car for the scary ride home. That beautiful mist from earlier had turned into a fog so thick we had to crawl at 40km the whole way home. Some crazy cab driver shot past us like a bat out of hell while we were on one of the most impossibly thick spots where we couldn't even see where the sides of the road or lanes were. I don't know if he had x-ray vision or something.

Later we found out that Grace Cherry's cab driver was also driving like a maniac all the way back to Hobart. Seriously people, if you are paying for it, you have a right to tell them to slow down. Not a fun way to end a night thinking you might die at the hands of a kamikaze driver.

Anyway, a brief mar on an otherwise perfect evening.

I absolutely collapsed into bed with an enormous sense of well being and looking forward very much to a sleep in!

Soggy Salamanca

Soggy Feet

The next day was a planned trip to the Salamanca markets. But oh how the heavens had opened! Wishing bitterly that I had one of my beautiful coats and a good pair of boots, we gave up on the markets after my shoes filled with water. It just wasn't browsing weather.

Torsten bought an umbrella that broke the same day from a lady selling sunnies and umbrellas. All bases covered but I wonder if everything she sells is just as dodgy.

We did find Tigerlily manning one of the stalls, looking like she'd much rather be in a warm bar with a good cocktail. Also found a fabulous stall selling printed hoodies and t-shirts. If the weather wasn't so rubbish I might have tried one on and bought it. They had the cutest prints. One of my favourites was a black hoody with the characters from Where the wild things are.

I was also utterly charmed by one of the bartenders at a pub where I'd ducked in to find the loos. After shaking off the water and getting my umbrella under control I felt rather dishevelled, but he took a look and smiled, 'You look great'. Very kind, but I think perhaps a little white lie!

Anyway, Torsten and I gave up and went to get lunch. Usually there is simply no time to eat dinner before a show when I'm performing, and even if I had time I wouldn't. The nerves, excitement and concentration don't leave me with much of an appetite, so I figured I may as well have a decent lunch. Holy moly did we eat.

In this cafe we had memories of the kind of place our mum might have taken us, long before cafe's were trendy in Brisbane. The kind of cafe that old ladies went to in Myer. The food was great though, and very reasonably priced.

I believe it was called Bojangles or something similar, and was located in a mall. The menu was unnerving in its use of BJ as an abbreviated title for the store but nonetheless I would have recommended the place for a no-nonsense sort of meal.

After hauling our overstuffed bellies back to the hotel to get all our stuff together it was onwards to the show!

Hobart, how do I love thee...let me count the ways!

Here I come!

So...yeah I've officially fallen head over heels for Hobart. It was like someone blended the best bits of Germany, England and Australia and crammed them onto an island with every possible eco-system. Incredible.

On the first day after we flew in over the countryside with the most fantastic view. It's all coves and bays and rolling hills. After checking into our hotel, my brother photographer Torsten Baumann (of www.b551.com fame) and I did a walk around the center of the city. I was struck by the architecture...and the bitterly cold wind! But mostly the architecture, which wasn't difficult to spot as we had to stop every 5 minutes to take photos.

Brisbane has always had a habit of tearing anything with a bit of history. Anything interesting and beautiful is torn down to make way for a few more yuppie shops and apartments. Or historical buildings are left to decay until they are no longer salvageable. The people of Bris rally against this kind of insensitivity to historical beauty but it is often to no avail.

So to walk about a town where the architecture is so eclectic is incredible. Old stone, London style terraced, mock Tudor, cottage, mixed with 60s and modern buildings. But all different. The fact that the city is built on a big slope adds to the visual charm.

Friday night was dinner with the girls at Rain Check Lounge. The girls, and by that I mean the beautiful and talented ladies of Miss Kitty's Meow (headed up by Grace Cherry) made me feel right at home.

The restaurant by the way was a great Tapas place. Mixed crowd, very relaxed, professional service, interesting (in a good way) decor and fantastic food.

Anyway, asides from the giggling at blown up classified ads of the 'Busty Blonde. Very Friendly.' sort that decorated the restaurant walls the girls got me up to speed with a little shop talk about the impending show. When we finally faced the icy cold wind to head off to bed I felt completely assured that it was going to run brilliantly.

I also learnt with some jealousy that Tigerlily's boyfriend is a chef. The girl has the down-low on every eating spot worth visiting! Plus Torsten found a place called Pretzel World when he popped out for a fag, which pretty much sealed the deal on my opinion of Hobart.

Next installment...show night!

Tasmania here I come!

Right lovely people, I can't seem to get my updates to work on the website so I'll have to pop any upcoming events in the backstage section for now. Keep checking to keep up with upcoming shows!

The most exciting news is that I'll be in Tasmania from this Friday to headline in the Hollywood Revealed Tour on Saturday night. You can get tickets and details here..http://hollywood-revealed.webs.com/tickets.htm

I'll also be teaching a basics workshop on Sunday afternoon, contact Miss Kitty's Meow to book... http://hollywood-revealed.webs.com/workshops.htm

Additionally, one on one classes are available by appointment for any emerging performers who would like to workshop an existing act with advice on costuming, dance, stage persona to give your act the wow factor.

I can't wait to see Tassie and meet everyone so I will see you there!

xx

Smooching from afar...

As if I didn't already love them to bits and pieces. Baby Bones of Club Smooch Brighton has gone and put my picture on the August poster. I'm the one in the middle. Now to get that video link working and I could perform via Skype....

Backstage at The Bombshell Ball

I'm still on a high from the uber-exertion of Go-Go dancing the night away so I thought I'd write a few lines to share about the goings on at my first Australian gig, The Bombshell Ball in Brisbane.

Being back in my hometown it was the first time my family and a few of my friends would see me perform live. Luckily, it seemed that this didn't affect my nerves at all and I had a fan-bloody-tastic time. I might have been itching to get back on stage too, which probably had a lot to do with it. It's been at least 2 months now and possibly the longest hiatus since I started.

The venue was The Globe theater, which I came to understand is run almost entirely by volunteers who want to keep this beautiful venue for live music and performance open. I can only guess that it was once a cinema due to the slant of the floor in the main room, making dancing a little difficult, although it didn't stop the crowd.

But oh my, the stage! I love a big stage. Complete with a lovely dressing room. Mmmmm.

Torsten Baumann was taking photo's backstage which is where the pic above came from. To see more, go to his blog www.b551.com/pixelpost/index.php. His photos really capture the magic of the show.

Well I got great feedback so I can only assume that the Brisbane audiences like what I do! Phew!

Miss Burlesque Australia

What a show! It was my pleasure to watch the Queensland heats of Miss Burlesque Australia. I'm currently in reconnoissance mode as I get my bearings in Brisbane. Getting to know the performers and organisers of Brisbane burlesque has been so much fun. 

The show was split into a two parts in addition to an evening wear parade and a lingerie parade. The first section was their traditional American style performance of no more than 2 minutes. The second a neo-burlesque performance and for the shortlisted final four performers, they were to do their unique performance. 

Alyssa Kitt and her traditional and unique act just blew me away. That girl is surely Australia's answer to Dirty Martini. Along with Ellashaye D'mour who we all just fell in love with (and who ultimately won the crown of Miss QLD) was a knockout in every act. 

The best bit for me (asides from the fab performances) was an endless array of devine costumes. Lace! Crystals! Sequins! I was in heaven. Plus I managed to snag a seat between the adorable Coppelia Jane who I saw perform at Debauchery a few weeks back, and Hotte Chocolate.

There's nothing quite like a night out with fabulous girls and a great show to inspire the creative spirit and I look forward to bringing Brisbane a new direction in Burlesque soon!

Sorry for my extended silence but I've been doing a little moving. As I'm sure I've mentioned before my hometown is Brisbane in Australia. For some time now I've been planning a trip back home to finish the final year of my Creative Industries degree and it's finally happened. 

The trip was planned to coincide perfectly with the remarriage of BWs father in England, then my flight, then the marriage of my older brother to his gorgeous fiancee. It seems in choosing to leave this year I'm also missing out on no less than 4 weddings this year in Brighton. Unbelievable. It seems that love is in the air.

Which of course leads to my heartbreaking separation from BW. Not emotionally but physically, as we are going to conduct our relationship long distance style. Of course there is the blessing of Skype, facebook, email & phone and it does really get me thinking about how our grandparents and great grandparents endured months and years apart with only the occasional letter received months after it's send date.

You get a heightened understanding of why music like The Andrew Sisters was so popular and so important in boosting troop morale. Songs such as 'Three Sisters' assuring them that their sweethearts back home were staying faithful and true.

My final little piece of news is that I may be rescheduling my trip to Melbourne to perform as my costumes and props haven't arrived yet. I'll keep you updated on my next show so watch this space! Additionally if you are a promoter in Australia and would like to have me perform don't forget you can get in touch through the Contact page of my website.

Beauty of backstage

What is it about backstage that is so magical, so inspirational? It's clearly not just me that feels this way as it has been documented in photography, writing and art for such a very long time. This painting called Almost Ready is by an Italian artist called Pino.

Stop...Pajama Time.

Image by Neil Leonard: http://getrealpaid.bigcartel.com/product/oh-dear-i-really-ought-to-do-something-but-i-am-already-in-my-pajamas

This does fairly much summarise my feelings this evening. I could clean the house, do some research or practise vintage hairstyles but the honest truth is I will most likely be curled up on the sofa in the next 15 minutes watching Gentlemen Prefer Blonde's....again.

“When I say, "I love you," it's not because I want you or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I've seen your kindness and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman.”

Joss Whedon

Well said darling!

Image source: Unknown (If you know who created this image please let me know)

Burlesk ROCKS!

Well it does...

For such a small audience these guys had big hearts and big voices and it reminded me why I love this so much. It was real, raw, live entertainment in the upstairs of a pub with a quintessentially Brighton student audience. It was brilliant.

The event was at The Lectern. As always, utter bliss not to sit on a train for an hour and a half. Hosted by Sally Monella the most fabulous drag queen ever with an incredible talent for getting the audience 100% involved.

I was headlining and somehow ended up getting ready way too early. I was panicking because my usual trusty trick of mixing my loose glitter into body moisturiser hadn't worked and I was trying frantically to get the moisturiser to soak into my skin before I got dressed. I think I may give up and buy the canned glitter spray. Much more reliable. Although I'll never forget the time that one of the girls at the NYE show couldn't get the can to stop spraying! In the end she had to stick it in a sink.

The upshot of getting ready so early however was that it was so relaxed at the venue I could watch in full costume from the door which meant I caught nearly all the acts! Fay la Foe and her high energy dancing, Coco Deville (again! It's like we're stalking each other)where I FINALLY got to see her peacock act, and Domino Burlesk from Burlesk in Hastings doing Hasta La Visa (which somewhat summarises my feelings on shopping!).

I enjoyed every minute, never mind also getting a surprise visit from Infinity Favour before the show. We were all getting ready when ta da! There she was, her fabulous self in a fabulous dress as usual.

Danny and Kim from Pulp Press were there, along with an old friend and a fellow Brisbanite. The girlfriend of the owner and I got chatting and were astounded to realise we were from the same city (because you never really meet other people from Brisbane overseas) and got talking about tap, burlesque and performing solo.

All that and I still got to bed at a reasonable(ish) hour. Fancy that!

Pulp Press Party!

Danny Hogan, big daddy of Pulp Press Brighton had contacted me months ago to tell me about this party they were planning for the launch of three of their new books. Let me die a woman, Die Hard Mod & Windowlicker Maker.

As you might know I'm the official Burlesque Dancer for Pulp Press so there was no contest as to whether I would get involved.

The only problem was finalising the line-up. We already had Kitty Peels on board but we needed one more to seal the deal, so I got in touch with Bea Devile to see if she wanted to join the party. A most definite yes!

Unfortunately, a volcano in Iceland had other plans for our little shindig. Kitty got stuck in Barcelona for over a week so I was left to find another burlesque beauty who could fill her shoes.

The thing about the Pulp Press night though is that it had to be someone with the right style to suit the Pulp Press ideal. I'd just done Smooch with Coco Deville and knew she would be perfect so I sent her a message and waited with baited breath. When I text Danny to say we'd found a replacement - Coco Deville, he squealed like a little girl in the middle of a trendy London market.

Phew! Back on track.

Kim (Danny's fiance and Brighton Rollergirl) and Danny rocked up in the Pulp Press mobile on Saturday afternoon and we bundled all the girls in and off we went, into the endless monotony of weekend traffic to get to The Horse Hospital, as it's still called, in London.

The show went well, besides some technical difficulties in the first half it was a great fun, a nice venue and a great party. My hat goes off to Bea Devile as I helped her into her costume for her geisha act and realised quite how much work goes into that costume. Layer after layer!

After a bit of a dance and packing up we bundled back in the car for Brighton. The brilliant part of which was having the time to actually talk to Coco, Bea, Kim and Danny about performing, Burlesque, feminism, art and studying. Usually it's so loud in clubs and there is so much going on before and after a show that it's impossible to have a serious (well it's never that serious) conversation but we had a couple of uninterrupted hours on the way home.

Well except for the stop off in Acton for food when we thought the car might get jacked.

A successful party all around!

And here come the waterworks....

So...I'm reaching back into my memory banks here. I'm usually quite like a goldfish in terms of memory length but this is important so I will share it with you.

My final Club Smooch was April 9th and what a show. We were dogged by poor lighting, terrible sound and a sparce audience. But nothing could dampen our party spirits and I most of all was determined to P-A-R-T-Y? Because I gotta!

Bea Devile and I had been working on a special double act, a one-night only affair that we'd been considering for such a long time. The WI cake bake. We are both almost obsessive about cake and had long said we needed to combine the two passions - cake and burlesque, in an all out food fight extravaganza. I got to play the ultimate in trophy wife stereotypes while Bea tried every possible way to sabotage me. It was slippery, it was messy and it was so bloody funny!

The Vegas Showgirls (me and Therese la Tease) and our gimp rocked it Pulp style and I got to debut my new balloon pop I mentioned such a long time ago. It worked so much better than I thought it possibly could and I've decided that I make a damn good blonde!

But the moment I was not expecting came when I was dragged onto the stage, like the oscars and given the most enormous bunch of beautiful pink flowers before Bob, Zerrin and the cast played me a leaving video of all my Club Smooch highlights. There were tears aplenty and it felt so surreal it just didn't feel possible that it was my last CS night. BW, who so rarely comes to my shows also shed a little tear.

I missed most of the performances unfortunately, including Marianne Cheesecake who was on straight after me. Also Coco Deville who I did end up seeing twice more over the next few weeks!

After managing to catch the last couple of acts we pushed back the tables and got down to dancing. Given the rare opportunity to cut loose being in my home town (I never drink much if I've got to catch the last train from god knows where), BW and I finished off a small bottle of whisky and boogied on down!

I don't know where the future of Club Smooch lies as the organiser looks to other creative ventures. What I do know is that the group of women involved in this night are the most fabulously creative, interesting, different, powerful and supportive group as I could have possibly had the pleasure of knowing.

I take my hat off to you ladies.

Holy Moly!

I just realised how long it's been since I posted. I mean, are you guys still there! Still reading? Wow. Thank you for your patience.

While I gather my thoughts about the last couple of gigs I've done and my wrap up of my time in the UK I'll give you a little taster.

A very little taster. The adorable little sweets in the picture are cake pops. How did I not know about these sooner?! They're even cuter than cupcakes! In fact they are mini, mini cupcakes and it doesn't get much cuter than that.

Now there is absolutely no way I'd have the patience to make these suckers (pardon the pun) but my hat goes off to the baker who does. Who is incidentally called Bakerella. Could I be any more in love with this woman? http://bakerella.blogspot.com/

Stranger than Paradise

What a completely bizarre and wonderful night. Stranger than Paradise is an event run by Amanda Rogers & Sacha Dieu both of whom I hadn't actually met in person before this evening. When I arrived at the venue just before 9pm I asked to see Amanda and was pointed to a lady in a pink creation with flowers on her head and a tiny little dog in a leopard print coat on a leash.

Right, so it was definitely going to be a fun night then!

I met Sasha who would be on the decks later that evening and popped my stuff in the bathrooms which was unfortunately the only place to get ready. In all, the venue was really nice and would have been very comfortable if it wasn't for the owner, who was a bit of an a-hole. We won't go there though. No seriously, I probably wouldn't go back to that place. Despite the fact that the girls who worked there were really, super sweet and lovely, I would prefer not to take my business to somewhere run by a man like that.

Moving on!

The night itself was fantastic. After meeting Amanda's dog Sheba and getting changed for my first act, Amanda and I tottered off down to a nearby restaurant where their friend was having a birthday dinner. She had of course cleared it with the owner of the restaurant! We burst in, Amanda with a speakerphone, me in full burlesque regalia and proceeded to do a little skit in between the packed tables. Anyway, it was hilarious and they loved it and we quickly dashed off back to the venue.

I was doing Ne Touche Pas and La Belle femme en rouge. Honestly, I've got to shorten that name, it's a bit ridiculous really.

They both went very well, although by the time we were ready for the second act, both trying to get ready in a bathroom full of very drunk people and trying to take gloves off when it's really hot became quite a tricky affair! Although at least I didn't have my balloons stolen like the other burlesque performer (she got them back, don't worry!) who's name I stupidly forgot to get.

I should have photo's soon from Paul Raggity who also came along. He told me off for wanting to see the photo's on the mini-screen but I thought they looked good!

The music was great, I know I've said this before but the Trans-Siberian Marching Band playing 'The Final Countdown' might be the highlight of my life. Think of it like a gypsy-polka version and you'll kind of understand what it sounded like.

I also got chatting to the bass player of a number of bands who suggested I come dance to live music at their Thursday night gigs. I just need to find the damn flyer. If you're out there, please send me details! I've wanted to dance to live music for a while.

So, what else happened that weekend? The damn clocks went forward that's what! It caused havoc with the trains and meant I couldn't go back to Brighton that night. Amanda very kindly let me stay at her utterly adorable flat with her and Sheba. I love interesting people and their homes, book shelves in particular. Don't ask me why. Unfortunately it meant that I missed a bellydance workshop on Sunday I'd been looking forward to for a while but that's life.

I made it back in time for rehearsals for Club Smooch and that's the most important thing!

It was a really fun night and I can't wait for 1st May when we'll do it all again in a different place with one of my new acts, the honeybee balloon pop.

Next time I write I'll be telling you all about tonight's show, Club Smooch Spring Faire in Brighton. My last one! There is still a chance to get tickets if you're going to be in Brighton or fancy a night out by the shore. http://komediabrighton.ticketsolve.com/shows/23498194/events

See you there!

Trailer Trash

Not me, I swear!

The Trailer Trash Baz Lurhman extravaganza has been and gone, and what a weekend it made! I had my fake flowers, my silver bra, and my Moulin Rouge costume packed and headed down for our final rehearsal on Saturday night.

As ever, the panic and frantic preparations of the weeks prior all came together with a click as we got on the Komedia stage for our group rehearsal. Trailer Trash is all about the movies so it's a multi-media affair with a huge projection screen at the back of the stage.

Every show there is at least one fight scene acted out by the Trailer Trash Troupe and ours was to be Romeo & Juliet with the Capulet's vs. Montague's. I was part of the Montague girl gang as some strange blend of Mercutio and the pink haired one (I can never remember the names).

There were lots of silly costumes, gesticulating, hair pulling, bananas flying, CPR giving, tumbleweed rolling, comedy running, prancing, posing and ultimately the whole experience was hilarious. I only hope the audience enjoyed it as much as we did!

As ever with the Brighton shows there was just as much fun to be had backstage as we all got ready. With so many strong personalities in one show the conversation is usually completely hysterical. Or maybe it's the extreme heat and the excess of alcohol...who knows. I can't wait to see the photo's.

The other brilliant thing is that because our group act went on first, I practically got to experience the ENTIRE NIGHT. Which is practically unheard of and I was very excited. I got to see Kitty Peels and her fantabulous Juliet act on the silks, The Flirtini's, Ruby Demure and Infinity Favour did a new Ballroom Blitz act. They just might be the funniest two women in the UK. BIG thumbs up for that one.

Then there was Cancan, fire twirling, acrobats, trapeze, best dressed awards, and dancing. So much dancing!

The ultimate cruelty of it all was that we (all the cast) had a Mad Hatters double birthday tea party the next day at 2pm for Kitty Peels and Baby Bones.

There were a lot of very tired and hungover faces there I can tell you, but with everyone dressed up, the table laid and the drink me, eat me signs all over the place I have to say my own hangover added such a surreal air to the day that I felt like I was in some kind of Luis Carrol dream. I quite possibly confused the hell out of the friends I bumped into on the way home who had also been at Trailer Trash the night before.

And so started another week of industrious preparations for more shows, more acts and more plans. Hence why I'm only writing about Trailer Trash now. Next stop...Stranger Than Paradise.

Valentine's Treat xxx

You would not believe what I got up to last weekend. Or maybe you did from the photo. Yes I was an actual living, breathing, window display for the Valentine's Vintage Fair at Laura J in Islington London!

In the window was my makeshift boudoir as I primped and preened, giggled down the vintage phone and had tea and cupcakes while reading all about beautiful vintage costumes. You might be able to see in the window there are show times. On the hour I would vanish only to emerge as La belle femme, to do my fan dance. Which I have to say is going through a very popular stage as I was asked to perform it at a private booking later that evening as well. I suppose it is VERY valentine's appropriate.

I had found some beautiful red vintage reproduction underwear at the back of my drawer that I hadn't got around to using which was perfect for the window performances. As although I like to cause a stir, the beaded 1920's style g-string and bra/pasties is not entirely suitable for the middle of the day in a public place! As the reverend's wife in The Simpsons would say, 'Think of the Children!'

So my red agent provocateur corsolet and full 50s style pants were a sexy and safe option which let me focus on making pretty shapes with my fans, rather than on covering my ass! Having seen the pictures, I think it looks really cute. I think I've found an excellent 'Boston' version for this act.

Shaking off my feathers in the Laura J window.

Anyway, the vintage fair. There was naturally the full selection of Laura J shoes, of which I now own a stunning pair of black, patent heels I intend to wear out on my date tonight with BW.

The Laura J Lovelies!

Very saucy and uber cute Bann Bee lingerie, the divine French Kiss Vintage girls had a table of sparkly jewellery, handbags, vintage clothes were hung on the window, LadyLuck Rules OK necklaces and Lucy J Freeman doing vintage style makeovers. It was girly heaven!

And the French Kiss Vintage cuties!

The event was running all day although my contribution was from 1-4pm. Being more of a night owl, it was a bizarre experience finding myself up and about in London before midday. Luckily I was provided with cupcakes on my floral plate and tea in my dainty china tea cup as crowds gathered outside the shop window.

The girls took great care of me, constructing floaty curtains around me and getting the heater on and pointed in my direction to avoid the possibility of becoming an actual mannequin, frozen solid by the cold February winds!

I have to say, I was genuinely surprised by how the crowds really did gather and how many people filtered into the shop as a result. I suppose working in performance makes me immune at times to unusual sights but when I think about it, a woman in a pink chiffon and feather nightgown drinking tea in a window is quite unusual.

The crowds gather.

There was one little girl in particular who was just adorable and stood transfixed in front of the window. Her papa took her over the road so she could keep watching from a distance and before they left they came over so she could wave goodbye. She reminded me of myself as a little girl. If it was pink, I was fascinated!

She was just so adorable!

So altogether a very successful day. I took the opportunity to meet up with Duchess Divine for a quick dinner before heading out to Hitchin for my private booking.

Valentine's Day was a quiet affair as I recovered from carrying my bag up and down the thousands of stairs on the tube (seriously, more elevators please!), although I consoled myself in the knowledge that I must have had a great work out at the very least.

I was woken with a cup of tea from BW and we had a picnic on our living room floor - champagne, ploughmans and a movie.

Just perfect.

xx

2010 is go! (go)

The new decade is here. But what to call it?!

Yes, I understand that 0 is not the start of a decade but the end of the last, but everyone treats it as such and who am I to stand in the way of progress?

January had a slow start. After all the excess of Christmas and New Years came the excess of well, the new year. Well you have to wean yourself off these things slowly! I discovered an increased enjoyment of cake, chocolate and champagne, and BW is not one to say no when I put on a puppy face.

Not a real one, that would be gross. You know what I mean.

My first gig back was Grind A Go Go at Bethnal Green Working Men's Club. The people from Oh My God! I Miss You, who also put on The Birthday Party night which I performed at ages ago, also do this great Go Go night.

My night couldn't have been more eventful.

It started out normally enough. Big, BIG hair meant lots of blow drying and hairspray. Which reminds me I need to buy a new one. Pink nails, couldn't find my bushy 60s lashes so loads of eyeliner.

On my way to the venue from the station I spotted the strange sight of a shop keeper who looked like he was propping a man up against a wall. As I got closer I realised the man was out cold.

First aid training kicking in I asked if anyone had called an ambulance, which suddenly kicked off a flurry of action to call them. I stepped in with another woman and put the man in recovery position, she checked his airway, I kept having to ask the shopkeeper and pals to step back as they kept crowding him, and a gent on the phone checked his rate of breathing. I have to say though, the ambulance were so quick to get there.

So with the gent left in their capable hands, I continued on my journey! Phew!

Trying to find the right street was proving difficult so it was with some luck that I happened to spot Fancy Chance and Trixie Malicious walking down the street towards me. Even if I hadn't met them before, it's not hard to spot another showgirl.

They took me back the way I came and onwards to the venue.

After a Hendricks and tonic and a chat about the WORST films of all time the girls went on for their GoGo set and left me to get ready for my act. I have reworked Psycho GoGo Wipeout recently and I much prefer it now. A little bit of humour & a shedload more sex appeal than the original act, I am truly a firm believer in rehearsing & reworking acts over and over. Like the old adage they are like a fine wine. You can work out the rest.

So, beautiful Paul (Bambi) turned up with Empress Stah before my act and I was pleased to have a friend in the audience. The act went smashingly and the audience went wild when they heard the first few bars (it's a pretty memorable tune). Altogether very successful!

Shame, as so frequently is the case, to have to dash off so quickly. I had planned to go back to Brighton that night rather than staying in London which meant a dash to the train station. I quite like a bit of time to chill out after my performance and have a drink and a dance.

On the way to the station, some greasy, vile man in a flashy car pulled up in front of me and asked where I was going and did I want a lift. Keeping in mind by this stage I had jeans, coat, scarf, hat and gloves on, I didn't exactly look like I was looking to pick up. With an angry glare I stomped off down the road keeping to the brightly lit and highly populated side of the street. Because of course, getting abducted and abused by a complete stranger would naturally be just the sort of thing a lady fancies doing on a Saturday night. What an arse.

He passed me again but didn't stop. I think I might have thrown my case through his window if he had. People like that make me furious.

It did get me thinking though. Performers are often at risk, I suppose as much as any woman out on her own is. I guess the advantage I have is that I'm usually very, very sober, BW knows my itinery and I have lots of heavy things to whack a potential attacker with. Still, perhaps someone could think up a 'Self defence for dancers' workshop? Just a thought.

So that was the evening, a bit strange but the bits in between were lots of fun. Also, the ladies of Oh My God! I miss you, gave me inspiration towards a new act. Along with the Birthday Party & Grind a GoGo they also run Hoodoo Voodoo. Hmmmm. Now I'm not much of a skulls kind of girl, but every girl needs a pair of bongo's right?

xx Night

The naughty naughties...New Years Eve!

I often find New Years Eve to be a bit of a let down. None of my friends are doing the same thing, even the pubs have a cover charge and the taxi queues go on forever.

Not this year! I decided that I would prefer to work this year and it was a very smart move indeed!

First show: Chaz Royal & Lady Luck New Years Eve Ball

I was booked for the early show and so I found myself on the train up to London fairly early. Classy as ever, doing my make-up in the carriage and painting my nails. Running a little late, I spotted a couple looking like they'd fit right in at a retro night so I asked the girl if she was performing and it turned out she was going to be one of the maids for the night!

It's a shame I can't remember their names as they were very sweet and walked with me most of the way before ducking off to get something to eat before the show.

When I arrived the dressing room was slowly warming up with activity. Hair curlers heating, costumes hung on rails, suitcases forming traffic islands in the middle of the room.

Could I have kicked myself though! I brought my camera but left my memory card at home. Hmmm. So I missed an opportunity to get a picture of VJ Spankie in her hilarious Aussie outfit. Amongst the glitter and glamour, V.J. was proudly wearing her thongs (flip-flops), cork hat and shorts holding Toadie the toad. God bless her. I was gutted I couldn't see her act but the audience were loving it.

Violet Crumble was also present, who I haven't seen since Glitter Room I think. Along with Dolly Rose and lots of new faces.

Beeby Rose, the beauty from Amsterdam was headlining and as she was on last in each act I just managed to catch her acts. Just beautiful. I also managed to catch some of Lambchop Magoo's act to a tune from Sesame Street. Bizarre, funny and cute, I loved it.

So the best bit of all of it was that before the show was due to start I got a text from a friend and talented photographer Samara Deen. Some of her photo's are in my photo gallery. Anyway, it seemed Miss Samara was without plans for the evening! She and her boyfriend arrived in time to see me perform and became my unofficial roadies for the night. So all of a sudden I was having a little party!

The act went very well by the way. This was the La belle Femme en Rouge that I mentioned in my post on Burlesk. The one that needed changing. It went so very well that Samara said she almost cried. Well crying is not my aim but as long as I'm having an effect hey!

And all this despite a near disaster roughly 10 minutes before I was due to go on. Every time I perform I check every piece of costume before I pack it in my bag, to ensure there is no damage that needs repairing. Somehow the clasp that holds a string of beads onto my g-string had come completely free of the knickers in between checking it at home and pulling the costume out of my bag at the gig! Being a clever clogs I had a roll of red thread and a needle, and after a minor moment of panic, I got to work sewing the costume together, threw on the rest of my outfit and just made it in time to hear my intro. Phew!

Perhaps the fear of god is what made the act work so spectacularly then. A bit of panic never did anyone harm before a show.

Second show: Nymphs & Satyrs Masked Ball

Brought to you by the same fabulous crew that run Die Freche Muse, I came home again to the beautiful, secret Dalston location that hosts the right sort of parties for Bright Young Things of the 21st century. With everyone in masks I was terribly confused though. I didn't realise that I knew the man on the door until he started speaking!

I deposited Samara and partner in the main hall to enjoy themselves while I checked out the new dressing room which had been moved to the room off the landing where I met Dolly Blowup who had been maiding at the previous gig, getting ready for her act. And yes, it goes off with a bang!

Millicent Binks was about too but flitted off shortly after her performance, but not before we'd had a brief chat. Gosh that girl is naughty but she does put a smile on my face every time we speak. They are not my tales to tell though so don't even ask!

The performance went just as well the second time and I got some really lovely pictures. Nick von Fiction took a load with beautiful vivid colours and none other than Johnny Crabb the pianist from Twin & Tonic caught the picture above. It really gives off the essence of the performance.

So, the rest of the night. There was a huge roaring fire on one side of the room and on the other was a table laid in what I imagined a tribute to those demi-gods. The countdown was almost an aside to the rest of the night. But it was wonderful to be with such a good friend.

I kept meaning to leave but I kept, well, not. After dancing and drinking, Samara and her boyfriend left at the civilised hour of about 2:30-3 and Dolly and I kept finding song after song kept us on the dance floor. After a sudden realisation that we were ravenously hungry, The Baron treated us to a peach and blueberry pudding of some kind (I can't remember) and cups of tea 'backstage'. Even though I'm sure it physically pained him to serve anything so boringly non-alcoholic. Which was very gallant don't you agree?

After a turn around the dance floor with The Baron (the man has far too much energy, it's just not right!), I finally took my things and headed for the station. Just too exhausted to stay for the after party! Trundling in at some time after 8am I realised...that may have been the most successfully fun New Years Eve in about 4 years!

Happy New Year all. I look forward to being a distraction for many more to come.
x Bella de Jac

The naughty naughties....Christmas Magic

Although I've been in the UK for some time now, I still have a distinctly Australian approach to the weather. I get SO excited when it snows. And boy did it snow this year!

The week before Christmas it quite literally didn't stop. Of course this threw England into chaos as the councils ran out of salt and grit, buses were cancelled and roads became icy. But my little English street looked like something out of Harry Potter. I even made a snow angel, which I most certainly wasn't wearing the right kind of coat to do and resulted in a tide of ice funnelling down my neck.

But it was worth it.

It melted away by Christmas, but that didn't stop the magic. BW and I spent our first Christmas all by ourselves like grown-ups. We have an open fire so the scene was like something out of a postcard on Christmas morning.

I insisted that we have stockings hung by the fire for Santa, and our (real) Christmas tree was twinkling with lights as I came out in the morning.

So...what's in a burlesque dancers stocking?

I was completely spoilt. A beautiful book called 'Pretty Things' about the last generation of American Burlesque queens. I'm in costume design heaven. A camera, as my last one died and I want to get some backstage piccies this year!

Also a hula hoop, just like I wanted. I'm going to have a very active year as not only did I get the hula hoop but I got juggling balls. Hmmm, let's see how that all goes together.

My other precious little presents were 2 beautiful pairs of gloves and the slinkiest nightgown you've ever seen. Lucky me!

The black lace gloves will be going with my 1920's flapper outfit and the gold ones with the beautiful champagne dress I was telling you about in my Frock Me blog entry. Perfect.

Naturally I also had a lovely long conversation with my mum, dad and brothers which I looked forward to even more than the gifts.

I did of course also make enough food to feed a feed us for a week, which was handy as we had no plans to leave the house in the freezing weather. I love Christmas dinner and I allow myself to enjoy it unashamedly and without restriction. Which does mean I have an awful lot of hula hooping and dancing to do now but I have no issue with that.

Now I know that present giving can often be excessive and over the top around Christmas, but I love the feeling of joy that I get in giving gifts. The excitement of cluing onto something and realising it's absolutely perfect for that person. Spotting something lovely in a window or making something just for a loved one. Keeping it a secret for weeks even though you're dying to tell them and wrapping it all up and putting it under a sparkling Christmas tree.

It's so important to enjoy these moments of happiness as life is fleeting and joy is precious.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do a little hula hooping in my living room!

Next stop: New Years Eve...