My authenticity

Photo by Dominic Kiehler

Costume by me!

What is it to be unique? To be authentic? I've been thinking about this a lot recently and even more so with the incredible excitement of this past weekend.

Recently in my epic list of thank you's I mentioned Lola the Vamp, the original and best Belle Epoque burlesque performer and how she has inspired me to revel in my own style instead of trying to create what other people might want. She is completely authentic to her own style of performance which incidentally makes her a pleasure to watch, beautiful, feminine and very successful.

This weekend Lola gave me the most magnificent complement I could receive. We were backstage all waiting to go on for the evening gown parade at the start of Miss Burlesque Gold Coast, and Lola, looking like a divine Tim Burton princess, looked at me and said my style was so authentic. I could have squeezed her but all our feathers would have got crushed!

The first few years of my burlesque career were about finding my place, finding a style that suited me. I tried to create what I thought people wanted. Something for everyone.

I created a 'doll in a gift box' act, a classic, a fan dance, a balloon pop, a 60s gogo act, and a weird halloween act. I was trying to be as marketable as possible but I didn't love all of them.

Some felt amazing to perform, some never felt quite right, but I couldn't tell you why.

Now I can.

Since coming to Australia, and having the opportunity to see Lola and a number of other incredible performers who utilise their own unique style, I've discovered that I simply love to dance...and strip. If my act tells a story then that's just great but it isn't my aim. I'm an out and proud classic burlesque performer. I love the beauty and sensuality of the body and that's enough for me.

I simply cannot be what anyone else wants me to be. I realise that means I won't be to everyone's taste and I'm ok with that. Burlesque would be boring if we were all the same!

I used to envy some of my burlesque friends back in

Brighton. They were so naturally funny. Funny and sexy and amazing, and they made it look effortless. But if I tried to be funny it didn't work for me, and if I tried to tell a story I felt clunky. Now instead of wishing I could be like them I can sit back and enjoy their amazing uniqueness.

Photo by Dominic Kiehler

Costume by Curve Couture

Now I don't want you to get the impression that I wasn't a good performer back in the UK! Far from it, I was getting the gigs and loving performing, but I've had a re-awakening since coming to Australia. I have neo acts I love performing but looking at them closely there's only one that isn't still very dance based bump, grind and shimmy, and that one, my bunny act, was a complete fluke. I think it's because watching someone dancing in an animal costume is just so damn funny.

I've found my niche, my method, I know how to create an act I love, and how not to sabotage myself. That kind of creative fulfillment is worth more than anything, because if I don't love every minute I may as well go back to waiting tables or pushing paper.

Ultimately this journey of personal discovery has only strengthened my performances and I continue to look to other ways in which to use my body onstage including ongoing training in aerial circus skills.

So the best piece of advice I could share with any performer is be true to yourself, it isn't a cliche. It doesn't mean being lazy and not pushing yourself to new heights, but to stop fighting against your grain and just do what you LOVE on stage.

x Bella

Miss Burlesque Australia 2011

It's thank you time! I had intended on posting this before the show but I ran out of time in the frantic rush to get down the coast so here is the full unabridged version. If you want to read the whole thing, grab a cup of tea and settle in, we're in for the long haul!



As is expected of any great undertaking, I have learnt a great deal.

- Hot glue gun is hot
- You always need more tulle
- Organza is the creation of the devil himself
- When you go to Spotlight, there'll always be at least one thing on your list that they don't have
- I have needle insensitive eyes, if I put it down I will lose it
- You always need more feathers
- SBS does some awesome late night movies
- Aldi does really good hot chocolate, cola and choc chip biscuits for late nights of sewing and long nights of Miss Burlesquing
- There will always be a last minute disaster, don't panic



Thank you

Cassandra Atkins and Jac Bowie for providing such an incredible opportunity to the Australian Burlesque community. To the judges, who must have had a difficult job with so many amazing girls in one show, and to the stage kittens who were simply adorable.

Thanks to Vanessa and the crew at the Coolangatta Hotel, where nothing was too much trouble for them. What a brilliant team.

Special thanks to Monique Le Minx who convinced me to enter. Talk about a lucky last minute decision!

The burlesque community of Australia, I love the supportive network we've built. Being able to rant to near strangers who understand exactly what you're going through is incredible.



To my family for your infinite patience. Thanks for accepting that the house would look like a costume shop exploded in a freak glue gun and tulle accident, and letting me take over the living room for rehearsals. We discovered tulle is lethal on a polished wooden floor and every time I let out an expletive my brother assumes I've just lost another sewing needle (those suckers just vanish into thin air) or my mum asks me if I've just stabbed myself again with a pin.

Tor, my oldest brother and photographer of b551.com, for the support, being my driver for the night and for the amazing backstage photographs he always gets of my shows using real film. I am witness to how hard he works restoring old cameras, sourcing obscure film, loading film onto the little reels by hand, photographing, dark room developing, scanning and editing. I know a lot of my fellow performers use his beautiful, candid pics for profile photos on facebook and promo, so thank you Tor!

BTW, the whole process of developing film takes a long time so the pics on this blog are just some I took during my dress rehearsal the day before the show.

My middle brother Ulls, for building my first website and for the undoubtably annoying task of re-booting said website that we'll be doing now(ish). My amazing bro also turned up with a massive bunch of flowers today after my crappy exam from him and his beautiful wife.

By the way everyone, my website is currently extremely out of date, most up to date photo's, info, etc is on facebook until I make the announcement for the relaunch.

Thanks to my extended family, most of whom were in the audience to see me perform for the very first time! What an incredible fan club!



Thanks go out to Alyssa Kit and her mama for making the outer skirt of my neo burlesque costume. It's beautiful, it's regal and I could not have done it without them! Also thank you for babylocking my horrible organza, AND watching my classic act run through. The confidence it gave me was that edge I needed. Alyssa, you are a burlesque queen. I look forward to seeing you take on Vegas honey.

To The Diamond Dahlia and Davina Mercy. I know we didn't get to do our costume day but just knowing that you cared enough to offer your help, love and support made me feel like I wasn't completely alone when I had my worst week of the last few months.

Xymantha Marie for your invaluable help backstage. I can't wait to start workshopping your new act, it's going to be a ripper!

Last but not least, the one and only BW. If you're tuning in late in the piece, BW stands for Burlesque Widower, my long suffering boyfriend who is still in the UK. BW thank you for letting me rant and sob and freak you out with weird 'I'm on the verge of a breakdown' emails. I'm pretty sure your love and support prevented a full scale meltdown. You also rule because you say I'm beautiful even when we Skype and I know I look like I've been dragged through the ugly bush backwards from late nights, crying and no makeup.



To all my fellow competitors, you were amazing. With such a great bunch of girls it's no wonder I felt so relaxed backstage.

Lola the Vamp, my dressing room buddy and a performer so unique and established she doesn't need a title. You've been a darling since I came home to Brisbane. This girl is the Belle Epoque goddess of Australian burlesque and an inspiration to me to find my own style and revel in it, instead of trying to create what I think other people might want.

Special high fives to the Strawberry Siren aka Flaming Boobs burlesque, who not only had to deal with a very painful looking burn but had to change her unique act with less than 2 days to go and still managed to be incredible. By the way Strawberry, my family loved your Redheads act! Looking forward to working with you and Lola again at the Australian Burlesque Festival in Melbourne.

Rosie Peaches, my rival for most awesome bunny act. I can't believe I got to see a girl in a bunny head planking. One word, awesome.

Truly, you are terrifying! I'm going to have nightmares about your knife twirling act for weeks.

Victory Bloom, your farmer & showgirl act was the cutest thing ever. You definitely need to do that one again!

Julz, using 99 Luftballons in an act is just a major high five moment.

Miss Burlesque Australia 2010 Miss Rita Fontaine, what a shimmy-shaker! (And thanks for the pizza:)



What a night, what a couple of months and what an honour it is to be Miss Burlesque Gold Coast 2011.

x Bella

I've got it covered...

Last night I stayed up till 2am making some beautiful pasties for my traditional act for Miss Burlesque as my actual pasties hadn't turned up from America yet. You can see one of the pair, the result of my hard work below...




Wouldn't you know it but when I woke up this morning there was a package on my doorstep...the actual pasties had arrived.

Oh well, now I have two pairs of pretty boobie covers! I'm sure I'll get to use the ones I made some time, although I probably could have done with the sleep!

x

Epic Skirt

I don't think I can impress enough how epic this skirt making experience has been. I am utterly exhausted.

It all started with my seamstress disaster, which is a tale for another day. Needless to say however that I was bemoaning my situation one Dr Sketchy's Eve to Alyssa Kitt, The Diamond Dahlia and Davina Mercy and the darling ladies must have felt for the deer in headlights vibe I was giving off as they all offered to help!

So it's with special thanks to Alyssa and her mama that the skirt got made at all. I could say that I helped but I hardly touched the outer skirt. The inner skirt however, ouch, that was my job.


My beautiful brocade fabric...

I've had to find time for sewing after my part time job and university so have spent a number of very late nights, interrupting the evening tv of everyone I live with with the whir of my tiny little Janome (thank god for subtitles), and swearing and yelping every time I stab myself with a pin, which was fairly regular.



Above you can see my lovely red tulle, which my brother Tor (of b551.com, seriously, check it out) informs me is lethal on a wooden floor when an offcut finds it's way under your shoe. Which when you combine with the infinite number of pins I've lost could make for an unexpected trip to the emergency room. Health and safety would be appalled.

So while I'm not booby trapping the house, I've also managed to watch the following shows and movies during this time:

Tuck Everlasting
The Edge of Love: which I'd absolutely recommend, not only for the film but for anyone who loves 40s clothes!
The Good Girl: which is not, as I thought, a feel good rom-com but a rather depressing indie film. Movie choice fail. (Incidentally I mentioned this error to BW and it turns out he'd done exactly the same thing.)
The entire series of Hugh Fernley-Whittingstal's 'A cook on the wild side'
and part of his 'Road Trip' series, both of which have made me feel a bit 'homesick' for England (honestly, where is home these days) and dying to go on a gastronomic road trip around the UK.

So daydreams aside and the skirt complete I allowed myself a little spin of joy in the kitchen before getting back to business.


Next step includes fringe sewing, pastie glueing, boa making and maybe at some point a little bit of choreography!

xBella